No One Knew But Me by Cynthia Newell

“Why now God, why is this showing up now?”  Sitting quietly the answer came in the most subtle voice, “Now is the time to clear this up so you’d never have to be negatively impacted by it again.” I knew it was best but emotionally I was not ready to deal with it, it being the revelation that I am scared to fully be me because I learned that being me was not safe. 
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After thinking for a while I began to see the connection between this thought and how it showed up in my life and business.   Here I was building a sustainable business, Dare to Dream a business God birthed through me over seven years ago. It would be a business that would allow me create affluence and wealth using my gifts, talents and skills to teach others how to overcome emotional pain and create a life they look forward to waking up to.  Though I am a big dreamer, a visionary and gifted spiritual life coach and dream interpreter, my business has yet to experience the level of success I had envisioned all because of me.  I did not feel free enough to give myself permission to soar; when the fear of being me gets the best of me I forget who I am and the value I add to the world.  I become stuck and stationery. Now to others it may appear as though I am confidently moving forward but in actuality what happens is I  go back to the drawing board to re-define who I am, what I do and who I help because somewhere in my brain I can’t find this information.

I had plummeted to a place I hadn't been in a while.

This was highly frustrating because I couldn’t understand how I’d go from being sure, confident and driven to feeling etchy, unclear and unsure; these experiences were not only mentally draining but was emotionally exhausting.  Imagine finding and accepting your true self, boldly sharing this self with the world to plummeting to a place of feeling unworthy and afraid.  Afraid that when things start going good that somehow they’ll crash just like all the other times in your life.  Afraid that the people who say they have your back will stand there and watch you get beat up instead of jumping in to help you fight.  Even afraid that you don’t have what it takes to maintain what you’ve built. 
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All these thoughts and feeling derived from the belief that it was not safe to be me.    This one belief challenged me and caused me question my call, my abilities, my commitment. I started to poorly position myself without even realizing it.  I started to feel as though I needed to take a back seat, go and be healed before I could move forward.  However the Holy Spirit says my healing is embedded in each bold action step I take toward the vision that was revealed to me.  

You don't have to go at life without support.

We never know the internal struggles of others.  We don’t always understand the why behind many of our actions.  It is imperative that we spend time in silence, meditation and prayer so we can hear the voice of God and be clear on what to do.  If you feel stuck in your life or unsure about who you are and what you were created to do, I’d love to support you. I invite you to book a “From Powerless to Powerful spiritual consultation.  It is 75 minutes of spiritual guidance, mindset mending, clarity, clearing and connecting to the answers your soul wants you to know.  Book today! 

Until next time, MAKE it a great day!
​Cynthia