The Choice is Always Yours by Cynthia Newell

​Many of you know, a little over a month ago I lost my sister friend Darlene to cancer.  You may remember Darlene, she was featured on my blog titled, "Just Because it Looks Impossible Doesn't Mean It Is".  Her death was unexpected and hard to believe.  A few days prior, I could sense something was not right so I reached out to her.  She said everything was not fine and asked me to pray.  Though I wanted to pray with her over the phone, she didn’t feel much like talking so I prayed because she said that was the best thing I could do for her.  I could have become offended by her lack of wanting to connect but I chose not to.  I figured we’d chat soon like we always did.  Over the years we had learned to give each other space when going through change or challenges.  We agreed not to take personal our need for personal space.  So I played by the rules of our friendship and gave my friend space to work through what she was going through.

​Friendship is an essential part of life.  

​It is often through our friendships we are encouraged to be the best version of ourselves.  Our friends offer us words of healing, thoughtful deeds and sincere prayers.  When you find a special friend, one you share common interests and have similar personality traits, you’ve found a jewel.  Darlene was my jewel because she didn’t require me to be anyone other than who I was but she challenged me to show up greater, we challenged each other to walk as giants.  Even in our differences, we respected and honored one another- that’s what a good friendship is about, respect & honor, love & forgiveness, fun & laughter.

​Even in death she still inspires me.

When I’m feeling doubtful, I can still hear her voice in my head saying, “You got this sis”.  When I wanted to lie down because of grief and say to hell with my business and personal goals, I could feel her energy and hear her voice say, “Get up sis, you’ve got work to do.”  She was and is a source of motivation that I cherish with all my heart.   Sometimes with tears in my eyes, I look to the sky and thank God for allowing us to have shared such a special friendship for nearly twenty years.  And instead of allowing grief to paralyze me, I use it to propel me forward.  The memory of our friendship and the candor in our conversations, fuel my passion and drive.  When the weight of sadness presses down on my chest in an attempt to stifle my vision, I make the choice to change positions. 
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We always have the gift of choice.  When life does not go the way you had hoped it would, do you throw in the towel or do you get still, reassess and hit reset?  What fuels your drive?  The friendship I shared with Darlene inspired the topic of my next podcast, “Remembering Darlene” where I get the honor of commemorating her, share valuable insight on friendship and offer beneficial tips on coping with grief.  It also inspired my 1st Annual Sisterhood EmPOWERment Walk (which will be a yearly event) and encouraged this blog post.  

The choice is yours.

I could choose to be depressed about the loss of my friend or I can choose to celebrate her life and our friendship, I chose the latter.  When I start to cry about her no longer physically being here, most of the time I end of laughing, remembering the silliness we shared.  I chose tears of gratitude. I chose to rejoice and be thankful that our paths met. 

As I continue my course, I choose to make choices that bring me healing, joy, laughter, reasons to smile and tears of gratitude, what about you?
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Until next time, MAKE it a great day on purpose,
Cynthia