The Lovely Goodbye

In less than 2 hours I will say goodbye to one of the most enlightening & defining decades of my life, my 30s.  Three words that best describe this decade are rebirth, re-establishment and reconciliation. In this ten year span I have loved, experienced death of close loved ones, ended two marriages, been pregnant four times, overcome cancer, started a business, been homeless, wrote and published three books, been jobless, penniless, and hospitalized more than I’ve ever been in my entire life. I embraced my calling as a light worker, leader and minster of the gospel outside of tradition church.  This decade has gifted me the opportunity to face and overcome many of my deepest fears – fear of being abandoned, fear of rejection, fear of others opinions of me, fear of standing up for my life, fear of success, fear of failure, fear of being misunderstood, fear of not measuring up and fear of dying.   

Not only did I release over 100 pounds physically, I also released mental & emotional weight by letting go of the need to carry other people’s burdens, to control outcomes;  being a people pleaser and the need to explain myself.  I allowed Spirit to give me a new perspective about change and let go of the need to control other people’s life and respect their decision to live life on their own terms.  I was healed from being judgmental and delivered from little mindedness. Some friendships ended while others evolved.  I learned what the voice of God sounds like to me, how to be provided for and one of my greatest lessons learned was to trust God’s love for me.  Trust my intuition. Trust my creative inspiration.  Trust people are not out to hurt me.  Trust the vision God showed me for my life.  Trust that everything that has happened in my life happened for a divine reason.  Trust I am called, qualified and approved by God.  

I am grateful for letting go my negative mental and emotional beliefs about money and my right to it. I know what abundance is – I AM ABUNDANCE.  My thirties were a bitter sweet combination of disappointment & triumph, heartache & healing, sleepless nights & powerful prayer and tears & joy; instilling devout wisdom, sustained peace and tried & true faith in God. I am stronger, wiser, and know God to be a very present help.  I know God to be a healer, a comforter and a lamp unto my path.

It’s interesting, most of my dreams during this decade primarily dealt with water (floods, oceans, muddy ponds, waterfalls, rainfall, etc) which references our emotional healing.  A lot of inner healing took place during span; it was scary at times, yet, I made it.  I now know my worth.  I now know the value I add.  I now know that I matter to God.  I now know there is nothing too hard for God!  So, with a sincere heart I say good bye inner turmoil and the need to be confused, unsure and a victim.  Goodbye to the need to hide and dummy down to make others feel good about their self.  Goodbye to worrying about money and wondering if I will have what I need. 

I declare and decree that my latter days will be better than my former days.   I declare and decree that good shall come unto me.  I declare and decree the blessing of the LORD, maketh me rich, and God addeth no sorrow with it.  I decree and declare the windows of heaven will open up, and pour me out a blessing, that I will be expanded to receive.  I decree and declare that with God all things are possible, my dreams are possible, my hopes are possible, my goals are possible, and my prayers are possible!  I decree and declare my gifts make room for me, and bring me before great men.  I decree and declare no weapon that is formed against me shall prosper and every tongue that rise up against me in judgment God shall condemn.  I decree and declare God will go before me and make the crooked places straight.  Thank you God for a new day, a new year, and my new life!  Amen.  Ashe. And so it is. © 2016
 

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Until next time, make it a great day,
Cynthia